ONTARIO > Hamilton > Bride-Savvy - Just For Fun

Wedding Funnies!

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy - The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the pits out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Words Women Use

fine... This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

five minutes... If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

nothing... This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

go ahead... This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

loud sigh... This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over 'nothing'.

that's okay... This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

thanks... A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.