Receiving Line Dilemmas

"No matter what we do, we're doing something wrong"

From strict timelines to awkward moments with divorced parents, even the receiving line can risk bringing an extra ounce of drama to wedding day planning. Does your family expect a receiving line after the ceremony? More importantly, if you didn't have one, would they notice? Brides have a choice to make when it comes to the long-running (some receiving lines can take well over an hour to finish!) but important task of allowing their guests to offer their congratulations and best wishes.

While many brides opt to break with tradition, others would rather play it safe and get in line. Where do most brides stand on the issue? We turned to The Ring's chat forums to find out more...

Sil said it was family dynamics and her wedding party that were influencing her receiving line status. "We decided that we'd do our receiving line outside the church after the ceremony. Because my parents are divorced... I figured my parents wouldn't be comfortable greeting people from the other person's family. So, it would just be my FH and myself greeting everyone... which makes it go faster. And, I think it's awkward for the wedding party to have to greet everyone because they don't know anyone... The issue is that someone has told us we should have our Maid of Honour and Best Man in the receiving line. I still think it'll be awkward for them and our guests. My one friend (who is our MC) told me that he's never seen it with just the bride, groom, MOH and BM. He has seen it with the parents and the bride and groom only. Any opinions? Or things I need to know? I don't know what to do. It seems like no matter what we decide to do, we're doing something wrong according to someone else..."

Amy&ajay could relate to Sil's situation on the parents issue, but found that time was one of their biggest issues. "...There's no way we would have my parents in that line. In the end, we decided not to have one at all. We have only about 100-120 guests, so we think that will be enough time to get around to all the tables in the night to thank everyone... The problem we have is that with a Friday wedding and late September, the ceremony starts at 4:30pm and dinner starts at 7pm. We have to have the 1 1/2 hrs-2 hours for photos after the ceremony, because it will be dark by 7pm, so it's easier to just forego the receiving line... If you and FH are hosting the event, i.e. paying for it all, then there is no problem with just you and FH doing the receiving line. If there are other people that are contributing, then you may want to add them. Some people have done it with putting a sibling in between the divorced parents, or you could have the MOH and BM (there's nothing wrong with that). Now a days, people need to realize that 50% of couples are divorced, so things change from when our parents and grandparents got married. You do what works for you two!"

A_pez4 offered her own twist on the receiving line, "We're not having a receiving line per se... After the ceremony Alex and I will just stand outside the door to say hello and wait for all the family to get out, so we can take the family photos, as all of our photos are going to be done beforehand... I'm just going to tell my wedding party to enjoy themselves and have appetizers... the hors d'oeuvres are right after while the hall switches from ceremony to reception... so half the guests might not come outside anyways!"

Mel85 leaned toward tradition, admitting, "We are doing a receiving line outside of the church with myself, FH, MOH, BM, and our parents... Honestly, you can really do whatever you want, all of the people are there to see you and your FH, so if you just want the two of you to be in the receiving line, then go for it! You don't really have to do a receiving line though - you can just make sure you take extra time to mingle and greet everyone during the reception. I think either way is fine!"

Receiving line dilemmas

• Divorced parents (may be awkward for them to greet guests from other sides of the family)

• Choosing who makes the R-list and who doesn't

• Receiving guests without getting behind in your schedule

• Large numbers of guests mean an hour or two of receiving

Excitedbride2be said that her and her FH didn't have a receiving line either. "We had pictures taken outside of the church and people would come up and congratulate us." Then, to make sure they covered all their bases, she said "We spoke to the rest of our guests at the reception - one on one. We had only 100 guests. I went to one wedding that had 250 guests and their receiving line took 2 hours to get through. Dinner was delayed by over an hour and a half..."

As an alternative option, OzMrs and her groom had their officiant ask everyone to exit the hall into the lobby for a meet & greet. "The wedding party took 15 minutes for an escape, then we just had informal mingle time during the hour and a half it took to re-set the ballroom. This kept things less formal and really gave us a good chance to say hello to most of our guests before the reception started - and no one felt they had to be quick to accommodate the rest of the line up!"

Wedding officiant, Don Perron, offered some his own advice, having seen hundreds of weddings over the past years. "Bride and groom only is acceptable and is done quite often. Experience shows the trend is changing to weddings without a reception line. Instead, at the reception during the evening, the bride and groom visit all tables to sit and chat for a few moments. Some couples, to help save on wasted money, visit each table and give their guests each a ticket for a free drink when there is a paid bar..."