Budgeting for We Inc.
Interviewing Gail Vaz-Oxlade of Til Debt Do Us Part (on Slice Network)
Gail Vaz-Oxlade has always taken a no-nonsense approach to budgeting, money management, and dealing with the financially distraught couples on her Slice television show, Til Debt Do Us Part. So when staff at The Ring spoke with her about marital money matters, her blunt but relationship-saving advice was no different. Money can be a common, recurring issue that sometimes stresses a relationship to its limits. "It's amazing how many conversations we don't have before we get married," she told staff at The Ring. And topping that list of conversations, is money.
Gail makes her point clear. Once you're engaged, you need to start thinking of your household budget (and wedding budget) in terms of 'we'. "Run your household budget like you would a business. I call it budgeting for We Inc."
So talk to each other. Discuss goals. Ask questions.
• How much money does each of us make?
• What debts do we have?
• Who is going to manage the money?
• Is one or both of us going to make money decisions?
• Is there a certain dollar amount that means you should talk to your spouse about whether or not to make the purchase?
• How are the bills going to be divided?
• What's the monthly budget?
• Who is going to do the physical tracking of the expenditures?
• How much do we want to save?
• What's our biggest financial priority?
• If one of us gets laid off or sick, what will we do for money?
• If we have kids, who will stay at home with the baby? How will we pay the bills?
Everyone's different. "Some couples put all their money into one account. Others may have separate accounts and pay specific bills separately." You have to find out what works for you. And she reminds couples that it doesn't have to be scary. Nothing is set in stone. "Over time, the budget will change. Your priorities in ten years could be vastly different from what they are now. You manage it as you go."
Wedding budgets, for Gail, are simple. "If you have $20,000 for your wedding and that's your priority right now, then plan a $20,000 wedding. If you don't, then don't." She highly advises against taking on debt to have a big wedding because it's not the best foot to start a marriage on.
Ideas
Create a 'budget binder' (like the ones couples use on her show). It doesn't have to be fancy, just used by both bride and groom or husband and wife. Keep your receipts, bills, goals, and decisions made in the budget binder.
Schedule a 'weekly budget meeting' at We Inc. "You might find that meeting over a cup of tea at 3 am every Friday works best for you." Any way is good, as long as it's an appointment that you keep!
If you're feeling brave (and want a touch of reality), use the cash jar system for a week or two. Cash jars require couples to lock up their debit and credit cards, withdraw a week's worth of money in cash, divide what you have to spend into categories, label your jars (transportation, food, rent, entertainment...) and then put that week's worth of money into the jars. "Then, whenever you pay for something, the jar will get emptier. You'll see that maybe you can't go out for dinner and drinks tonight because your entertainment jar is almost empty by Tuesday..."
Essentially, the keys to We Inc. are to talk, question and answer. Then agree to a budget. And stick to that budget. When changes need to be made, make them together. "You can spend $500 shopping every week if you want to, but you have to agree to it, and you have to have weighed it against the priorities you've talked about having."
Gail has published several books, updates her website and blog regularly with money matters advice and is just about to air the sixth season of Til Debt Do Us Part. Check it out on Slice (check your local listings for dates and times in your area). •
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