Choosing your bridesmaids carefully

Story by Carla White

When your dreams of your wedding become real, so does your decision making. You have to think about the difficult task of choosing your bridesmaids: which friends you're closest with, whether you want to include relatives and potential in-laws, and who will be reliable and helpful during the planning.

So how does a bride make the right decision when it comes to her bridesmaids, while at the same time avoid drama? We turned to The Ring's chat forums to get some advice from brides...
 
Most brides have a year or more to plan their weddings, and your decision could change before the big day, so the consensus is to take your time. mel85 suggests you "hold out until you are 100% sure." Recent bride, stephanie21, agrees that you should not make any decisions too quickly, "it took me about three months to figure out who I wanted."

When mulling over this big decision, momtoaQT suggests asking yourself if these girls will still be a part of your life in twenty years. And amy0224 agrees "that you have to not only look at your past, but also your future when picking your wedding party."
 
Of course the decision might create drama amongst friends who weren't chosen, but amy0224 adds that you shouldn't just ask "someone to be in your wedding out of guilt. Follow your heart, and don't worry about people being hurt if they are not asked to be in your wedding. If they are true friends they will understand and respect your decisions."

Mandymay says that "you want people standing up with you who are important to you and support you, not because you feel obligated to have them." Besides, you can still have friends be involved in other ways even if they don't make the cut for bridesmaids.

nbderyck says that "You could always make them scripture readers if you are having any. That way, they get to be up front as well for a little bit and share something picked by the two of you."

Sherryl adds that "if they can sing or play an instrument they could sing a song or play for you as you walk down the aisle. You could even enlist them to help put invites or favours together!"

Whatever your decision ends up being, just remember to take your time and choose wisely the people who will be standing up with you on your special day. And make sure they're there because you truly want them to be; and if they're really as good of friends as you think they are, even if they don't make the wedding party, they will be happy to be involved in any way they can. •